DownshoreDrift

I thought I'd write a fairly personal post for a change of pace. This has been an eventful week. Emotions have run the gamut of extreme joy to severe pain and sorrow, and everything in between. In a way, this week was nothing unusual. At the same time, it was rather extraordinary, because of the people I met and the things I got to do. God be praised.

• Saturday: travelled back from the Baptist Identity Conference with C.B. Scott and Bob Cleveland. We had some amazing conversation on the way. I enjoyed seeing and spending time with friends and fellow bloggers, Marty Duren, Art Rogers, Ben Cole, Timmy Brister, Steve McCoy, Joe Thorn, Wes Kenney, Tom Ascol, and Dwight McKissic. I have been shaped and challenged by men like these through this incredible blogging experience and it is always good to meet and hang out some with the people behind the blogs that are changing the face of the SBC, in one way or another. Plus, the speakers were great as well. If the tone of the conference is where the SBC is headed, we are going to be alright. It also caused me to see that the depth of the controversy in Baptist life is so great and so complex, that I would be well served to back off from it on my blog so that I can refocus on other things that are more positive and redemptive for the time being. It has been a refreshing decision. I will still write on baptist issues from time to time, but no where near as much as in the past (and everyone said, "Amen!"). But, for a good synopsis of a post that I was going to write in response to the Smith article on Charismatics and Baptists, but never got around to, PLEASE read this by David Rogers, IMB missionary to Spain. I couldn't have said it better in a million years.
• Sunday: What an amazing day! I filled in for a Sunday School class on Job and taught through Job 19-22. Then, I preached on Matthew 8 & 9, about the Authority of Christ. God really seemed to move in a powerful way and we had a significant time of ministry for some folks in our church, as well. In other news, we paid off our mortgage! Around 18 years ago, our church took out a loan to build our current sanctuary. As of January 2006, we still owed $153,000. At our current pace of payment, it would take around 4 years to pay it off. We desperately need more space, so it is time to build again. Well, over the past 3 months, we saw the last $90,000 paid off, with the last $20,000 coming from someone outside our church who just wanted to bless us! We needed about $2,100 on Sunday to finish it, so we took a special offering and brought in that amount and more! Praise God! We are now debt free! God has provided in amazing ways! We have drafted a building team in anticipation of this day, and they have started their work of leading us into building a new building. This will be an adventure. I'll give updates and ask for lots of advice as time goes by!
• Monday: I spent the day with a lady in our church and her daughter as we buried her parents. On Thursday of the previous week, I got a phone call that both of her parents had died tragically in a car wreck. There was much obvious grieving, but I saw God work in their lives as they experienced His presence and faithfully looked to Him. God was so gracious to them to give them strength and help them to grieve while He provided amazing comfort. I was asked to share the gospel at the funeral and it was a really interesting experience. The couple who passed away were in their 70's and 80's and were leaders in the Pentecostal Fire Baptized Holiness Church. So, the funeral was held at one of that denomination's churches, outside, in a camp meeting environment. There were hundreds of people there. I don't think that many of them were particularly crazy about a Baptist preacher speaking, but I faithfully shared the gospel anyway. What a day. Please pray for this family, that God would continue to give them strength and comfort and carry them through this tragedy.

Caelan Update: Caelan continues to do well as he takes his treatments every Monday in Birmingham. He is now 18 months old and, according to the latest scans, the cancer has not returned! Praise God! He is still going in for weekly treatments, but he only has 6 more treatments left. We started this whole thing almost a year ago and were facing 48 treatments, surgery, and a very difficult road. God has been faithful, however, and has brought us through it so far. Caelan is weak, often cranky, doesn't eat or sleep well, and is very small for his age. His color is sometimes bad, and he has lost most of his hair. Chemotherapy stinks. But, God is using it to save his life, and for that, we rejoice. At the same time, he is incredibly fiesty and stubborn. He doesn't take anything off anybody and he's as tough as nails. He'll wrestle his older brothers to the ground and give them a good beating as well. He's one of a kind, that's for sure. What a blessing!

• Tuesday: The day started EARLY with two hospital visits for church members who were experiencing surgery before 7am at different hospitals. I grabbed some breakfast at a local restaurant and studied Scripture. Then, I went into the office to try and catch up on all that I had missed over the last several days. There was a good deal to catch up on. Our church has grown from an average attendance of around 175 last fall, to an average attendance of around 230-240 so far this year. Most of those folks are in their 20's and 30's with lots of kids. So, there is always stuff to do. I had lunch with our elders and we talked about pastoral and leadership issues in the church. Those guys are a pleasure to serve with, no doubt. That evening, I took my son to his Upwards basketball practice where we had a father-son game. He had 10 points and around 12 rebounds. The kids beat the Dads, something like 46-14, but I did dunk it once (on the six foot goal!). Man, those 5 and 6 year olds can play! After that, I went to a meeting at a restaurant with John and Bill to make plans for our upcoming trip to India. We were there until late and I was weary.
• Wednesday: I stayed home in the morning, but met Greg and Glen, the co-chairs of our building team for lunch downtown. We worked on a strategy for how we are to move forward. These guys are amazing, and have already put a lot of work into this. They are top notch professionals in their fields, and they are bringing those abilities to this task as well. I can't wait to see what God is going to do through all of this. I then went back to the office for the afternoon, where I worked on a number of things and prepared for the Wednesday Night Bible Study. We are going through The Mind of Christ by T.W. Hunt. It has been an incredible study and Wednesday night was no different. God is really using it to speak to people in a deep way about their relationship with him. I am co-teaching it with an older, Godly man, who has been blessed with unusual insight into God's ways and character. We are seeing a lot of growth in the lives of the people going through the study. I am growing as well.
• Thursday: Engaged in office work, study, and an elongated staff meeting with our administrative staff, since I will be gone for two weeks. This was the calmest day of my week, and I was able to focus on a few necessary things. That evening, my wife and I met with the folks whose house we have been trying to buy for the past month and watched the deal fall through. The home inspector said that the house needed a new roof, a special roof, because of the low pitch of the roof on the house. A $16,000 roof. Oh well. We'll keep looking.
• Friday:  I'm off on Fridays. My 7 year old daughter, Ashtyn, had a lead role in a school play, where she played a clown fish who felt rejected because she told bad jokes and wasn't really that funny. The play was about all different kinds of fish in the sea, and how they all are unique and learned to be friends, despite their differences. She had a whole bunch of lines and did an awesome job. I am so proud of her. She goes to a magnet school in our city, and we are praying that our son, Peyton, gets in as well. He had his interview on Wednesday of this week, so we are hoping. We spent the rest of the day taking care of different things, and then had dinner with a really awesome family that just started attending our church last month. We hung out with them until way too late and talked about everything under the sun. We had a great time.
• Saturday: Today was a lot of fun. This morning, I took Ashtyn to her ice skating lessons and then, the whole family showed up for Peyton's last basketball game of the year. He played really hard, and I was so proud of him when he went diving head first for a loose ball. I love that! When we returned home, I wrestled with my boys on the floor for a good long while (Kieran, my 3 year old, is a real firecracker - he loves jumping all over me and his older brother, Peyton - It's great!). After that, we were all pretty tired from a hectic week, and rested during the afternoon, before we returned for Peyton's Upwards Basketball Awards ceremony this evening. We saw a woman spin 10 basketballs at one time, and then share the gospel! She was pretty talented. We participated in Upwards at a local megachurch, but folks from our church were all over the place. Three of the teams were coached by people from our little church. It was great to see those guys participating with the larger Christian community in our city.

All in all, it was an eventful week. Of course, I didn't mention the diaper changing, baths given, meals prepared, phone calls, errands run, conversations, and other things. I just scratched the surface. Sometimes, it is good to sit back and reflect on the things that you've been involved with on a daily basis. Overall, my week focused more intensely on my church and family than outside things, mostly because I will be gone to India for the next two weeks. But, this exercise was helpful because it causes me to ask some questions: Where did I see God move? How did I experience His presence? How did I interact with others? What do I need to change? How much time did I spend with the Lord and did it make any difference in my daily life? How much time did I spend with my family? Others? While I ministered to people within my church, I realize that I didn't share the gospel with anyone this week. I was tired a lot. I didn't pray as much as I should have. I was pretty discouraged about some things at times. But, I praise God for His faithfulness and grace. I pray that I will continue to grow in Him and learn to depend upon Him more and more. As I look back, I am grateful for all that happened this week.

Tomorrow we take Communion as a church. I preach about Jesus. In two days, I go to India for almost two weeks. I'll miss my wife and children terribly, but I am excited about what God has in store for us!

Here are a few photos of the kids over the last couple of weeks, enjoying a family outing, posing for Christmas cards, and spending time with family. I have lots of family and friends that read Downshoredrift, so I thought you might be interested in seeing how the kids are growing (Click on the photo to enlarge). We had a great Christmas and we hope you did too!

Have a Happy New Year!!!

Christmas has come and gone. At times it was an incredible blessing. We gathered with family and friends, ate (like crazy), exchanged gifts, and worshipped the Lord through prayer and gathering with the saints on Sunday morning and evening. At other times, it was difficult. Erika had to take Caelan to the hospital unexpectedly on Friday evening because of a fever, and she had to leave Saturday night and rush him there again because of high fever of over 102. She did not return until Sunday evening because they had to give him a blood transfusion and platelets. Sigh.

In the midst of all of this, with Erika and Caelan absent in Birmingham, the other kids and I delivered Christmas goodies to our neighbors (this was supposed to happen on Friday but was postponed). In the process, we found out that several houses on our street had recently been broken into. People are wanting to come together and get to know their neighbors so that we can take care of one another. The man across the street also said he was interested in helping me get folks together and we pledged to have a cook out in the Spring. So, God seems to have used our little gifts to the neighbors to begin a process of bringing people together and building much needed community in our neighborhood. We even had a couple that we had just met bring us a quiche on Christmas morning as a thanks for the gifts we had brought them!

Once things settled down, we ended up having a great time with my mom and her husband, and my sister and brother-in-law. I can truly say that, in spite of all the hospital visits this month, Christmas has been a blessing as we truly experienced Christ and His presence. He led us into a more missional Christmas this year, and I am thankful for that. Through focusing and living out the theme of the Incarnation, whether at peace or in crisis, we truly experienced the amazing redemptive presence of Emmanuel, God with us. I pray that your Christmas was a blessing as well!

Just a quick update on Caelan: After his infection last week, port removal (a port is what he receives his chemo through), and two nights in the hospital, he had a port replacement surgery yesterday. Everything went really well and he was able to come home. The infection did not make it into his body and he received the port just fine. He's back to playing with his cars and his siblings.

We stepped through a new phase though. When we gave him to the nurse to take him back into surgery, he reached for us and started crying. Up until now, he has always been happy to go back with whoever. He is 16 months old now and I think that he is really starting to pick up on what is going on. He remembered the surgery from last week. Seeing your son cry as strangers take him off to be put to sleep and have surgery was a little difficult. Everything worked out, but we haven't faced him really understanding what is happening to him yet. That has been the biggest blessing of him being so young. We praise God for the treatment, the hospital, and all the doctors and nurses, but we do look forward to this being over.  Thank you all for your prayers.

Quick update on Caelan: He came through the port surgery just fine today. They removed the port and it was infected. The good news is that the infection had not spread into his body, so they got it out in time. He does not have pnuemonia, and is basically healthy otherwise. So, praise God! They will replace the port next Wednesday with another surgery that is a bit more extensive. He and Erika are still in the hospital in Birmingham because he was running a fever. They wanted to watch him. I am pretty tired after the past couple of days and came back to Montgomery this afternoon for our Wednesday night service and to get the other three kids. What a couple of days!

Thank you all for praying for Caelan. He is doing great!

Okay. What a day. I just made it back to Birmingham and I'm at Children's Hospital. Erika is asleep down the hall with Caelan and I wandered down to the parent's lounge where there is a computer. Yesterday, I was in Montgomery, travelled to Dallas and Arlington, TX, came back to Birmingham tonight and I'll be sleeping in a chair in anticipation of a port surgery for Caelan tomorrow morning. It is 11:04 pm, and I'm getting pretty tired. I really don't know anything right now about what will happen tomorrow, but his first port surgery was not that bad. Hopefully, this will not be either.

So, I figure I'll ramble a bit and get a decent update in concerning the events of the Roundtable Discussion at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Arlington, TX. 

Before I get into my take on the proceedings, you can read the article in the Dallas Morning News. I am quoted at the bottom completely out of context, of course. Here's the quote:

But some of the participants said their allegiance might not last forever. If the denomination continues to ignore concerns, his church may eventually decide it "won't continue to participate," said the Rev. Alan Cross, pastor of Gateway Baptist in Montgomery, Ala.

In missions - with the IMB that is saying it doesn't want us. We really have no choice, do we? What I actually said was that SBC leaders need to understand that if continualists are permanently shut out of being involved in missions through our missions agencies because of restrictive, and unbiblical policies, we will eventually have to find another way to cooperate in missions and carry out our God assigned task. We won't just sit back and do nothing. I said this AFTER affirming the SBC, the Cooperative Program, and our place as Southern Baptists. I was not trying to imply that we were interested in leaving the SBC, joining another denomination, bringing division, etc. Just, if you can't work through our mission boards, eventually you will have to do missions some other way and this is a big enough issue to find that other way. I have no idea what that other way is, by the way, or at what point we would have to make that decision - I guess if we totally fail in trying to bring about change and the powers that be tell us to take a hike. But, that is for a later day. Ah, the media. But, I guess I should have known.

While I was at breakfast this morning with a bunch of bloggers that you might be familiar with, I got a call from my wife that she was bringing Caelan to the hospital in Birmingham. He was running a fever and had to be checked out. She called to tell me that they thought that his port was infected so they were going to have to remove it and replace it with another one.  They are staying over night at Children's and I am flying into Birmingham tonight to stay with them. The surgery is tomorrow morning. Please pray that they will effectively replace the port and that there will be no infection. They are also running tests to make sure that he doesn't have pneumonia.  Pray for strength for Erika and that everything go smoothly. Hopefully, we will be able to head home tomorrow.

At breakfast, I asked the men that I was eating with, which included Art Rogers, Paul Littleton, Wade Burleson, Bob Cleveland, Ben Cole, Micah Fries, Dr. Sam Storms, and a friend of mine from seminary named Joe, to please pray for my son. Dr. Storms led us in prayer, which I really appreciated. Then, at the Roundtable, Ben Cole asked for an update for Caelan. I told him what was going on, and within a few moments, Dr. Dwight McKissic was announcing it to the whole gathering and there was a prayer for healing for my boy. I was deeply moved, humbled, and grateful. After the Roundtable, Robin Foster and Wes Kenney prayed with me for Caelan.  Thank you guys. It has been incredible to be on the receiving end of the prayers of the Saints in such an incredible way. One thing that I can say: through this whole process, so many have been so faithful to pray for us and lift us up. I thank God for each one of you.

We received some good news regarding our 16 month old son, Caelan, who is going through cancer treatment. Soon after his surgery to remove his tumor in April, a pocket of fluid began to develop in the surgery site. The doctors have been watching it very closely, expecting it to go away, but it has not. They have done ultrasounds and CT scans on it, but have not been able to figure out exactly what it is. They finally became concerned enough to do a biopsy. We were pretty nervous, but they assured us that they thought everything would be alright. Well, the results came back from the biopsy, and whatever it is, it is benign. I told Erika that it could be a Big Mac for all I cared, as long as it is benign.

Even though we have worked through a lot of the emotions and we are taking most of this in stride, when I got the call yesterday from the surgeon's office, I froze. A million fears ran through my head all at once. When they told me the good news, I was happy, but it was the kind of happy that you feel after you have ALMOST been in a car wreck. You're relieved, but you are still kind of in shock that you're getting calls from surgeons at Children's Hospital to tell you that the fluid in the place where they removed the tumor from your son is benign. I truly do praise God and am very thankful. But, the emotions that hit you during this whole thing are pretty intense. Thank you all for continuing to pray for us. We still have a long way to go, but God has been so gracious.

On a much more insignificant note (I just wanted to add this in here to speak about something completely frivolous on the heels of a pretty heavy topic), it looks pretty certain that my #5 ranked, 10-2 LSU Tigers are going to the Rose Bowl to play either Michigan or USC! Geaux Tigers!  It will be the first time a team from the SEC has played in the Rose Bowl since Alabama did it in the 1940's. I'm pretty excited. I hope they represent well! 

I just wanted to give a quick update on our, now 15 month old son, Caelan. He is doing really well! We've had two weeks off of chemotherapy, and he has responded wonderfully. His appetite is way up, he's started to put on weight, and even some hair is growing back. He's getting that chubby look again! His blood counts are up very high, so praise God for that! I thank each one of you for praying for him and I know that God is answering those prayers. Please continue to pray that he will have an appetite and will continue to grow as he goes back into chemo treatments. He started back today, so we are praying that he will remain strong and that he will continue to respond well.

Erika went to Jamaica last week (Wed. through Sun.) for her sister's wedding, so I was with all 4 kids for the first time! It was very interesting, to say the least. I get along really well when I'm with the kids and enjoy spending time with them, but this was the first time I've been alone for 5 days with all four of them! During radiation, I had the oldest three for a month, but have never had Caelan that long as well. I was kind of nervous, actually. I REALLY respect my wife and what a great job she does. I'm SO GLAD she's home, though! 

It's the last day of October, the 31st to be exact, so I thought I'd return to the blogosphere. I took a self imposed blog fast for the last half of the month and I made up my mind not to comment on other blogs or write a post of my own. It was refreshing to not feel the need to publish every thought that was rolling around in my head.  For a week of that time, my family took a much needed vacation to the sugary white beaches of Florida's Emerald Coast (where the picture of the sunset came from). The rest of the time has been immersed in 2007 planning, budget meetings, the Fall Family Fun Night, and ministry.

Another reason why I took a break is because I wanted to clear my head and reset a bit in regard to my writing.  The idea of Downshoredrift is that God is at work all the time, moving us closer to Him. It's like when you are in the waves at the beach and you think you are in front of your umbrella and chair, but in reality you have moved down the beach and you didn't even realize it. That's called Downshoredrift.  Well, God is always at work to draw us to Himself and sometimes, it is so imperceptible that we don't realize it unless we are really paying attention.  I want to continue to write about that and keep giving praise to God.

Sometimes, we can also drift away from God.  One decision leads to another, and before we know it, we have grown lukewarm or have compromised ourselves. It can happen so quickly, that we do not even realize it. Fortunately, grace is greater than all of our sin and coldness of heart, and like a life guard, God rescues us from the waves that would tear us apart.

So, Downshoredrift embodies the movement of God in our life and it also characterizes the battle that we are in to keep our eyes open and to stay aware regarding truth and lies. I want my writing to be both pastoral and prophetic, so that I can call people to the loving arms of their Father God, and also warn against dangerous paths that we might be headed down. Downshoredrift has become a powerful metaphor for me, in that it describes the full range of emotions and activities that present themselves in our daily lives. Fortunately, God is always at work and His grace is sufficient. He is more than enough. I want to live with my eyes wide open and see God at work and give Him praise. I don't want to miss a thing.

So, God has been at work! Caelan, my 1 year old son with cancer, seems to be getting stronger every day as he gets over the effects of his radiation. His appetite is up and his blood counts have been higher. Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers! God is faithful!

God is really working in our church as people are growing in their relationship with the Lord and others are coming to Christ. God is adding to our church in awesome ways and we are reaching out in our workplaces and neighborhoods like never before. We had a big Fall Festival type gathering on Sunday night that was probably the biggest event we've ever done, and there was a lot of joy. So, praise God!

I have been reading about the continuing issues in the SBC in regard to the gifts of the Holy Spirit. This continues to grieve me and I'm going to be writing quite a bit about it later this week and in the future. But, I know that God is up to something and I pray that we all submit to Him in this.

We are facilitating several trips to South Asia next year, and I might be going on two of the three. We'll see, but there are some really incredible opportunities opening up for us. I'll keep you posted.

Well, it was good to reintroduce myself! Let me leave you with this verse, Job 42:4-6:

4"You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
       I will question you,
       and you shall answer me.'

5 My ears had heard of you
       but now my eyes have seen you.

6 Therefore I despise myself
       and repent in dust and ashes."

May we all have encounters with God this week that moves us from the realm of hearing about Him to truly experiencing His presence for ourselves. May we all be brought low before the magnificence of Almighty God, the Creator of the Universe. May we trust Him completely and throw our lives into His care with reckless abandon. May we see the Lord and worship Him.

I just wanted to write to give an update on Caelan.  I haven't done that in a while because things have gone fairly well lately, except for one trip to the ER in Birmingham because of a fever.  We finished radiation over a month ago.  He had a large burn and blisters over 2/3 of his chest/stomach there at the end which looked horrible but didn't seem to bother him too much.  His skin has healed well, and although it was a difficult time for our family, it now seems a distant memory. This week, however, he has been struggling and I wanted to ask folks to pray for him. Monday for the first time a portion of his white blood cell count was too low for him to receive his chemo treatment.  It was so low, in fact, that we have to keep him home all week.  He is most likely suffering through some of the residual effects of radiation and his increased doses of chemotherapy.  Basically, he is very susceptible to illness and has little ability to fight against infection at this point because his immune system is weakened. This is a common side effect of the chemo, but it is not one that we have faced yet. We are praying for Caelan's strength to return, for his blood count levels to rise, and for his ear infection to go away. Also, Erika and I have had a lingering cold over the past several days, and the boys have been coughing all over the place so that doesn't make matters any better.  It's not really possible to stay away from him.  He kind of needs us. 

And thus ends one of the longest, most difficult months of our lives. I haven't written much about Caelan lately, because it has honestly been too hard to think about. I guess I've been in a bit of denial, so I've thought and written about other things, as much for the diversionary benefit as anything else. But, I can gladly report that radiation is finally over! My wife, Erika, is home with us to stay! This has been a grueling ordeal for all of us, and it has affected my other three children quite a bit to not have their mother around. But, God has been faithful to get us through this month, with Erika and Caelan really spending all but the weekends in Birmingham.  I've played the role of Mr. Mom, and I assure you, everyone will be quite excited to get back to our normal routine, especially my other three children! I'm just not the care giver that Mommy is, I'm afraid.

A few things I'm thinking about today as we start off another week . . .

Ernesto seems to be moving east toward Florida. I don't wish a hurricane on anyone, and my sister lives in Orlando, but I am very glad it is not projected to hit Louisiana-Mississippi. They truly can't take it. The tens of thousands of people living in FEMA trailers would again be homeless. I just pray that this hurricane season remains relatively quiet.  This week is the one year anniversary of Katrina and the memories are strong. I'm going to write a bit about my memories from last year. Even though I didn't go through it, we were down there four days later and my family went through it. It was a horrendous time and I want to get some thoughts down.

We had a great day at church yesterday. I preached on Philippians 3:17-4:1. Powerful passage. We talked about how Paul's example and pattern were the "way of life in Christ Jesus" (1 Cor. 4:16-17), and how that is so different from just moral behavior alone. Rather, it is finding your righteousness in Christ by faith and allowing Him to live through you and transform you. That leads to moral behavior, but Christ is always our starting and finish point. He is our guide and our goal. The message notes and audio will be up on Gatewaylife.net later this week.

Many folks come to my blog primarily for news on Caelan. I just wanted to write and tell you that he is doing fine. We are a little over two weeks into radiation with another two weeks to go. Erika has been staying up there in Birmingham with him and they come home on weekends and occasionally for an afternoon/evening during the week. I'm taking care of Ashtyn, Peyton, and Kieran and we are all doing fine. Peyton and Kieran are struggling some missing their Mommy, however. Peyton has been very clingy and has become so eager to please. He almost breaks into tears anytime I correct him. Kieran has withdrawn some and is getting angry once in a while. That isn't like him at all. They're really in my prayers and I'm seeing God minister to their little hearts as well. He is faithful.

Erika has had a tough time recently. Please surround her with your prayers. What she is going through each day with Caelan is very hard and it's easy for fear to creep in. She has such a great attitude and has looked to God so consistently. But, it's still very hard. Please pray for her tonight that she would experience God's presence, know His joy, and be able to trust her little boy to Him. She does that, but it's a constant surrender. She's really been my hero through all of this.

I'm pretty tired. Taking care of three kids is A LOT of work. I can't say that I've been the best pastor lately either, and I feel like a lot of things are falling through the cracks. It's difficult to really get stuff done and get in any type of rhythm. But, God is blessing the church and people seem to really be growing. I'm doing more through prayer and spending time with the Lord right now than through controlling everything. That's probably what I need to be doing more of anyway.

So, that's an update. I so appreciate all your prayers. God has sustained us and carried us through all of this in amazing ways. We continue to praise Him and look to Him. This is one of the hardest times of our whole ordeal, and it is hard being split up as a family. But, Christ is sufficient. He is showing us that each and every day.  May His grace be sufficient for you as well.

Well, radiation began Monday for my son, Caelan, and everything is going well overall - except that we are dealing with doctors. What I mean by that is that everything keeps changing. They had told us that we were going to get electron therapy and that would be the best form of radiation by far. Much better than that nasty photon therapy. Then, Erika shows up on Monday (I didn't go because I was with the other kids and thought this would all be routine), and they change it to photon therapy because the electron therapy won't work. So, you get all geared up to go in one direction and then they switch course on you and you are trying to figure out if what is happening is best or what. I know they are doing the best they can and are working with the information they have, but when this happens, you are emotionally drained and don't have the energy to just switch gears and not let it get to you. So, this is pretty hard.

So, we get through that. Then, yesterday, there is a visit with our surgeon because he is gaining fluid in the cavity where the tumor was taken out. The surgeon says it's nothing after seeing the ultrasound and the CT scan they just took, and she is sure that it is just fluid. But, it's a bit more than she expected, so she is moving up his next CT scan to be in 6 weeks instead of 3 months. Just to be sure and overly cautious. And, she reassured us by telling us that she didn't feel that a biopsy was necessary. Whew, glad for that . . . a BIOPSY?!?!?!  What the heck are you talking about?!?!?  That was my response to Erika on the phone.  Erika assured me that he was fine, but I just wasn't prepared to hear about how it was good that we didn't have to have a biopsy right now. Why are we even mentioning a biopsy?

Anyway, the first three days of radiation have been MUCH harder than we expected, at least emotionally. Caelan is doing fine so far, but there have been so many other things that have gone along with it that NO ONE told us about. Erika is exhausted and needs your prayers so she can rest. I am feeling overwhelmed. Our kids are happy, so that's good. But, this is just hard and you keep wanting it to be over with and you keep thinking that you can't take anymore and it keeps coming and you keep getting back up and you keep praying and you stay tired and the stress builds and you wonder how you're going to make it and you do. Somehow, you just do. God is still there. He gives you strength. One day turns into the next and you try and distract yourself by thinking about other things, like Bobby Welch and the stupid alcohol resolution in the SBC. But, in reality, all you're thinking about is, "Is my son going to be o.k.?" and, "If he is, is he going to be deformed?"  And, you think about your wife and you hurt for her because you don't want her to be going through this and you just wish you could do something to make it stop.

But, you can't make anything stop. You can't control anything. All you can do is show up, take it as it comes, and trust God. Trust God. Those two words are weightier than ever. Trust God. Trust that He is not surprised by any of this and that this is just another chance to prove Himself strong. Trust that He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Trust that this life is not all there is and our hope is found in Him and in the life to come. Trust that He has strength for us each day and as we suffer in our soul we come to know Him better and He is our reward. Trust that He will be glorified through this and that is all that matters. Trust Him with our hearts and our lives and the future of my child and the weariness of my wife and let that be enough. Trust God. Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. I know what to do and am doing it, and God is seeing us through. But, it is still hard. It still hurts. And,we still trust and choose to rejoice in the Lord.  He is all we have and He is enough.

One year ago today (August 3) our son and fourth child, Caelan Joshua was born.  We named him Caelan, which means "victorious people" and Joshua, which means "Lord our Saviour." He's had a tough first year and his second year isn't going to be any easier with the cancer that he is facing. Radiation starts Monday and it will be everyday in Birmingham for 4 weeks. Erika will be staying up there a lot and will come home some. But, she will spend every night in Birmingham. With 3 other kids, this is going to be pretty tough. We are probably heading into the toughest part of the whole ordeal for our family, at least physically.

The doctors have said that the radiation will cause the right side of his chest to develop at a slower rate, so it may appear shrunken compared to his left side. His skin will be irritated like a sunburn in the treated area.  Also, there is a VERY SMALL chance that radiation therapy could cause additional cancer.  We are believing God to make muscle and bone grow! God can do anything and He is our hope. We appreciate your prayers as well.

On Saturday, we'll have a family birthday party for him and celebrate his life. He has taught us so much about relying on the Lord, God's providence, the love of other believers, and the power of God in answer to prayer. We never thought we'd go through something like this, but we can say that God is good and His grace is sufficient. As we step into one of the most difficult times, we will continue to believe in Him and trust in His mercy and love. We are very tired right now and all of this has taken it's toll. But, we continue to hope and believe and we continue to receive joy from the Lord.

So, Happy Birthday, Caelan. May your days be long and richly blessed by the Lord and may you live out your name of leading people to victory through the Saviour, our Lord. We love you very much.

Matthew 11:28-29

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

What do you do when you get tired? How do you know when you are just worn out? I haven't been blogging that much lately, because, even though I've been in town, I 've been pretty much swamped. And I'm tired. It's been a difficult 4 months since we first learned about Caelan's cancer. We've been back and forth to Birmingham (well, Erika has as of late) for chemotherapy for the last several months, and praise God, he has done so well. Now, we're getting ready for radiation. We found out that there is a good chance that his right side that will receive the radiation will be shrunken compared to his healthy left side. That was hard to hear, but we are praying that God cause bone and muscle to grow miraculously. He has done it before, we'll believe in Him again.  In a week and a half, Erika will be going to Birmingham every day for a month and that is also pretty scary for the overall functioning of our family.  Overall, however, we are doing well and are so blessed and continue to praise God. But, a bone weariness has set in right now and I'm feeling it. Erika is too.  Please pray especially hard for her as she is carrying the brunt of all of this with the trips to Birmingham and the emotional strain. She is an amazing woman and I am so blessed to have her.  Pray also for me that I would be a better husband to her and find ways to take things off of her.  We knew this would be hard, but we are really starting to feel it right now.

So, I've been thinking about the above verse. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Yep. That's me of late. That's us. Weary and burdened. I'm real big on rejoicing in the Lord and turning my cares over to Him, but even when I do that, I still find that stress and weariness are there. It is good to know that Paul went through the same thing in 2 Corinthians 4:7-12:

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

So, I think the key is not to try and alleviate your weariness or your stress, but freely admit it. Go to Jesus, not just to feel better but just because He is there and He loves you. Find your rest in Him, where you are accepted, loved, and forgiven. I have found that the level of frustration in your life is exactly the same as the difference between your expectations and reality.  When you make peace with the situation and trust God, even in your weakness, He is there to see you through.  In your weaknesses, ask Him to be strong for you. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is admit that we are tired and that we cannot make certain things happen. Admit that everything doesn't depend on us. Admit that we are not in control. Then, hook up with Christ and allow His peace and life to flow through all your broken, tired places. Rest in Him and allow Him to be strong through you.

Well, that's what I'm doing right now. I'm admitting and confessing my deep need for a Savior. I'm admitting that I don't have what it takes, I'm not strong enough, I don't have all the answers, and I don't love the way I should. But, I take heart because I know Someone who has all that I need. I see Him at work all around me and I invite Him in to breathe life into this weary soul. Tomorrow is a new day. May I wake up rejoicing in the Savior who makes me whole.

We've made it through the first four rounds of chemotherapy and are through with the really harsh drug, Cytoxan. Caelan is still doing great!  Here he is this weekend at the pool. The only problem is that the chemotherapy has caused his tongue to swell and become multicolored.  Just kidding!  He really is doing great and has not been sick at all.  We are so blessed and we continue to thank you for praying. God has been so faithful to answer our prayers.

Erika continues to take Caelan to Birmingham each Monday. This past Monday completed our last overnight trip.  We'll have two weeks off and we will start radiation on August 7.  This will be pretty difficult, even just in the travelling.  He has to go every morning, 5 days a week, for 4-6 weeks.  We are praying that the radiation is not too hard on him and that he responds well.  Some people have told me that toward the end of radiation it was like their skin was being burned off.  We have been told that the dosage will be different for a baby and he should do O.K.  I truly hope so.  Please pray for Erika as she will continue to be the one taking him back and forth.  All of our other children will start school, including Peyton (4) and Kieran (3).  They will be in preschool all day during this time as I have to go to work and Erika will be out of town everyday.  Please pray for them (and me!) as we make this huge adjustment in our lives.  After the radiation, the boys will return to their normal schedule with their Mom and some preschool, mostly for fun.

I've written a lot about my 11 month old son, Caelan, who is still doing great, by the way (Praise God!).  I haven't written much about my older kids, though.  They are awesome!  I couldn't imagine life without any of them. Ashtyn (7) is the thoughtful one who asks all the hard questions.  Peyton (4) is the athelete and straight ahead go-getter. Kieran (3) is the jokester and is completely hilarious.  They are all a joy and are unique in their own ways. God has blessed Erika and I so much.  Here's a picture of us at the YMCA water park today. We are having a blast with the water slides, fountains, pools, and water falls. What a great time! It's a little blurry with the water, sun, et al, but you get the idea!

I want to continue to thank each of you who lift up my son, Caelan, and my family to the Lord through your prayers. God is definitely answering.  Erika will take him early tomorrow morning to Birmingham to begin his third round of chemotherapy with an overnight stay. This is the really intense stuff.  He has responded well to the treatments so far and does not seem to be suffering or getting sick - Praise God!.  He loves to play with his brothers and sister, loves to laugh and, we think he has said his first word! It was "cracka" (cracker).  Everytime he's around a cracker he points and says "cracka," so, we're pretty convinced.  Please continue to pray for him and for Erika as well.  She's in good spirits, but is getting tired with all the extra care and travelling.  Fortunately, our church family continues to support us in so many tangible ways. We praise God for you.

The Lord blessed us with providing a place for us to stay at the beach through family for a couple of days over the weekend. There were only two times this summer that Caelan could travel because of his blood counts, and this was one of them. So, we got to go play in the sand and surf in Destin, Florida. The kids all had a blast and we had some much needed time away for two days. Ashtyn and Peyton rode their boogie boards way out in the Gulf for the first time, and Peyton, my 4 year old, even beat all of us in putt-putt!  He's quite the natural athelete.  Next time, I'll show no mercy!  Anyway, we do praise God for the blessing of such a wonderful gift!  In the midst of a very stressful and difficult time, it was a much needed mini-vacation.

"Let me taunt you some more!" Caelan says in his best French accent like the soldiers on the wall in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. 

This picture was taken about a month ago, but it perfectly displays his attitude. He had chemotherapy yesterday and returned home today. He is doing great, although in the past, he has run a fever within 24 hours of his chemo treatments. We are praying and thank you for all of your prayers. God is answering.  He and Mom returned home this afternoon. He is playing with cars and Erika is taking a nap - spending the night in the hospital is exhausting.  The doctors feel like he is doing well.  He has now had 4 of the 48 doses of chemotherapy and 2 of the 4 major treatments that he will have. He still has not thrown up or shown any ill effects that we were told he would have. My wife even asked today if they were sure the chemotherapy was strong enough! They assured her it was.  We continue to praise the Lord and look to Him, though this continues to be stressful and difficult at times. But, God has been so faithful - and so have all of you. Grace and Peace to you all!

One more thing: You would think we could comb his hair, wouldn't you?

We had an infromational forum re: the upcoming SBC Annual Meeting next week in Greensboro , NC that I am going to as a messenger. I have not preached on any of these issues or have bothered our church with it. Frankly, I wanted to wait until things panned out, hoping that the situation would reverse itself and that it would not be something that we had to get involved in.  Well, today, I informed a group of interested folks from our church because I wanted them to know the situation and I wanted my church to be behind me as I went to the convention. I presented our elder's and my perspective on the issues. They were unanimous in their support and are praying that things change.  I gave a handout of basic information regarding the main issues that we are facing as a convention in Greensboro.   Here's a link. You can request a copy of the handout if you are a church member and you email me.

Also, we covet your prayers for Caelan tomorrow. He goes to Children's for another major dose of chemotherapy that will result in an overnight stay. I'll be staying here with the other kids, so it will be Mom and Caelan in the hospital. Please pray that he accepts the chemo well and that he does not run a fever this week. Also pray, please, that his white blood cell counts stay high so he can ward off infection. He is doing so well, but I want to keep praying so that God will receive the glory through all of this and so we do not forget from where our help comes from - our help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth.

Here's Caelan, buckled up in his car seat, heading to Birmingham today for his third dose of chemotherapy (3 down, 45 more to go!).  He's doing great!  He is eating well, has not thrown up even once, is happy all the time, and has been adequately increasing the weight of his diaper with solid substances of varying degrees of stink! So, in other words, all systems are working well.  Also, from his chemo trip today, Erika called and told me that his white blood cell counts were high, so he is in good shape to fight off any potential infections!  We know that this is an answer to prayer and God is so faithful.  One of my greatest prayers in all of this is, "If we have to go through this, Lord, please don't let him suffer too much."  I am more convinced than ever that God is delivering a healing to my son through His providential care and through medicine.  I thank God for every person who has prayed for us and has helped us in tangible ways. You are all incredible.  I have no idea how we would be handling this if not for the power of the Holy Spirit and the body of Christ.  From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

I am not naive of the tough times that await us.  He could get sick tomorrow.  We've already had two unscheduled hospital/emergency room trips the past two weeks. I hear that radiation is a real bear and it is every day in August and September for 4-6 weeks.  But, I DO want to be faithful to praise God for answered prayers and for getting us this far.  I KNOW in my heart that He will carry us through, and we continue to look to Him.  Our God is faithful!  We'll continue to take this one day at a time, choosing to rejoice in the Lord each day.

This week I went down to Waveland/Bay St. Louis, MS to check on a couple from our church, Charlie and Martie Elgin, who have left everything of their life here, sold their house, and are living in a trailer to help people devastated by Hurricane Katrina.  It was a quick trip to work through some ministry plan stuff, see the camp/mission we are now starting called Pathfinder Mission, and have some meetings with the local baptist association, and a really great pastor, Kevin Clifton, of Bay Vista Baptist Church in Biloxi, MS.  God is doing some incredible things down there in opening people's hearts and through continuing to call volunteers to give of their time and resources to help put people's lives back together.  Our church is sponsoring Pathfinder, and we are praying that we will be able to start a church out of it as we reach into people's lives with practical and spiritual help.  Charlie and Martie spent 6 months at Shoreline Park Baptist Church in Waveland running their camp and felt led to stay down there and serve the people.  We are doing everything we can to help them.  Please pray for us and pray about any help that God might be leading you to provide for these people who are still in great need.

The last week has been hectic, to say the least. Caelan is doing really well with his chemotherapy after the first week, which is a major praise. Thank you all for praying - God is anwering! It is amazing that just one week ago, we were in the hospital with his port surgery. So much has happened since then.

Over this past week, we have really seen God guide us, take care of our son, keep his nausea at bay, work out major scheduling problems, speak to me dramatically as He has led our church, call me away to spend time with Him, and reveal Himself in amazing ways.  We've also been exhausted, confused, and overwhelmed at times. 

Through it all, God has shown us that He is taking us where he wants us to be.  The picture above illustrates that.  It was taken by me during a time of prayer this weekend.  If you throw a stick into the raging water it might get tossed all around and turned upside down.  But, still, the river will take the stick where it is going.  That is how it is with God.  In our lives, the raging current of God's providence and will turns us upside down and tosses us all around - or so it seems.  In reality, He is working and moving to take us where He wants us to be.  Our part is to trust Him and get in His flow, let Him lead, and believe that He is working in our lives.  Things might not be easy in the moment, but we serve a God that can be trusted.

Well, that is what He has taught me this week through experiences, trials, and victories that seem too many to name.  The week seemed like a month, but in that time I saw the Lord at work.  He is good! His love endures forever!

Everyone's home. Caelan is fine. Mom is very tired. Hopefully, we will not go back to Birmingham until next Monday. One day at a time.  Praise God for all His blessings, praise Him for who He is, praise Him for His grace and mercy, lest we be consumed. Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord.  Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

May we all rest well tonight, thinking on things above, praising the Lord, trusting in His benevolent care.

For those of you keeping up with Caelan, he is fine.  We came back from the hospital yesterday after his port surgery and first round of chemotherapy. We were looking forward to a somewhat normal week, and, before you know it, he was running a fever of almost 102. Erika had to go back to Birmingham with him for blood tests and they ended up keeping them overnight.  Today, he is having another scheduled bone scan (routine), and a blood transfusion (also routine, or so they say - it doesn't sound very routine to me).  His fever is back down and he is doing very well.  Anyway, our first week of this has not been easy.  Erika and I keep telling each other that this is the new normal, so just get used to it.  We're trying, but I don't think you get used to this easily.

They should be coming home tonight - yeah!  Tomorrow, probably I will blog about something else - I promise.  I am preaching on the Da Vinci Code this Sunday (actually, I'm preaching on the Bible, but I'm going to use the Da Vinci Code as a point of reference concerning the chasing after other gods and philosophies and how this is nothing new.  I'll be talking about how we can be prepared to answer these questions that come our way.  So, I might blog on that tomorrow. We'll see.  Hopefully, we'll be hospital free the rest of the week!

I'm blogging from Children's Hospital in Birmingham and want to report that Caelan had his port surgery today (they installed a port to receive chemo) and he is receiving chemotherapy right this moment for the first time.  I stepped out because I am getting a bit tired of seeing needles go into my son!  To the left is a picture taken of Caelan of few minutes ago right before they started his chemotherapy.  Everything is going really well, praise the Lord!  We will stay the night and go home in the morning.  Thank you for all your prayers and please pray that he will handle the first round of chemo well and not get too sick.  This is obviously new for all of us and we have received a ton of information that we are trying to process.  No fun at all.  I'll keep you updated when I have more time. 

It is a relief to finally get started.  As a friend said when she called today, "Just think, only 47 more weeks to go!"  Amen - let the countdown begin!  I say that in jest, though, because we recognize the serious need to just take this as it comes one day at a time.  God has grace for us each day and we will arise every morning to receive it.  We know that we have many trials and blessings ahead of us throughout the next year and we truly do look forward to knowing the Lord in a deeper way as we walk through this.  One day at a time.

In thinking about the cancer that my son, Caelan is going through, it would SO easy to throw a pity party and say, "Why us, Lord?" I could do a really good job of it, if I had half a mind. I've been known to throw some amazing pity parties in the past, with balloons, music, and even the paparazzi showing up to take pictures. I can be a pity party professional (P3 for short).  But, God, in His amazing grace is using all types of things to provide incredible perspective and to cause me to praise Him for His abundant blessing and goodness. He is using His Word, the prayers of others, and also things like books and film to remind me to pray without ceasing, praise the Lord, and think about the horror that others go through in this world.  My family really is blessed. 

The other day, Erika and I saw Hotel Rwanda.  I've been wanting to see this movie for some time, but haven't gotten around to it.  It is a really heavy movie about the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 where almost 1 million people were killed.  The story follows hotel manager Paul Rusesabagina (a Hutu), as he works to save around a thousand Tutsi from extermination.  It is an amazing story of courage and compassion, and it also shows the incredible depth of our sin and how evil man can be to one another.  I found myself terribly ashamed that when this happened, I was in college and did not even notice.  I don't think I even uttered one prayer on behalf of all of the people that were killed or that the violence would be stopped.  The West turned a blind eye to what was happening because it was not in our vital, immediate, interests.  Shame on us.  Shame on me.

This past week, I have also been reading The Great Deluge by Douglas Brinkley.  This massive book chronicles the week of August 29, 2005 in New Orleans and the Mississippi Gulf Coast when Katrina hit.  It tells the story of the lack of preparation before the storm, all that went wrong on the local, state, and federal level during and after the storm, and the incredible suffering and courage that was experienced and shown by the people down there.  That is my homeland, being born in New Orleans and growing up in Picayune, MS, right up the road.  The Gulf Coast was our playground and the culture and people there mean a great deal to me.  During this disaster, I (and my church and so many others) did respond with many prayers and action, sending a team of 30 with supplies enough to start two Red Cross shelters on September 2 in Ocean Springs, MS.  All of that work has led us to stay involved down there and we are now  helping start and support, Pathfinder Mission in Waveland/Bay St. Louis.

Well, the long wait of uncertainty is finally over.  We were told weeks ago that our 9 month old son, Caelan had cancer. We let everyone know about it, reconciled ourselves to the fact, and prepared for chemotherapy.  Then, 3 weeks ago, everything changed with the possibility that the tumor might be benign.  We fast fowarded a difficult surgery 12 weeks so they could get the whole tumor and we jumped on the rollercoaster.  A couple of weeks ago, we spent 6 days in the hospital as the tumore was taken out in a major surgery where he lost the cartiledge in the right part of his chest - but, it was successful and they got the tumor.  Today, in Birmingham at UAB Children's Hospital, our doctors, with all of the tests back, confirmed that it was indeed cancer.  So, we begin treatment surgery to insert the port to receive the chemo on Monday and we begin 48 straight weeks of chemotherapy with radiation after 12 weeks.  We will go to Birmingham EVERY week on Mondays, with an overnight stay every three weeks for the first twelve weeks. Then we will have radiation, and then just go every week for the next 36 weeks.  What a year.

So, here we go.  This will probably be the most difficult year of our lives for our young family. We have many mountains to climb, as I have said in the past, weekly trips to UAB, constant monitoring for fever, vomitting, hair loss, and other side affects.  But, we are so grateful that Caelan is being cared for and that we are surrounded by such an incredible group of people who are praying for us and supporting us.  We know that Caelan is going to make it (they give him an excellent chance for survival), and we are fully placing our trust in the Lord.  We are going to keep on living our lives, as we have many things to do and three other children to care for.  God wants to teach us a great deal through all of this and draw us closer to Him.  We continue to pray for Caelan's healing, believing that God will use all of this for His glory.  Thank you so much for your prayers as we keep on this journey of faith.  We will continue to keep all of you updated through this blog.  Amen. So be it.

I am happy to report that Caelan is doing fine! He came through surgery well on Friday, and although he has experienced quite a bit of pain, he is doing really well.  We should be heading home on Wednesday (tomorrow).  God has truly answered all of our prayers concerning this procedure to remove the tumor and we are so grateful!!!  We praise Him for His abundant goodness and continue to believe that He will carry us through this.  They got all of the tumor and the correct margin around it.  It was not attached to any organs, and although they had to take the cartiledge from his rib cage and muscle, they did not have to take part of his ribs.  The doctors are very pleased with his progress and feel real good about everything so far!

Where do we go from here? They are sending samples from the tumor to Emory University, Ohio State, and some guy named Fred.  No kidding. Our surgeon said that they were sending it to Fred somebody (she couldn't remember his last name, but he is supposed to be the foremost expert for this type of tumor).  We pictured a guy named Fred working in his garage on tumors and lawnmowers.  He's probably a jack of all trades who can also do roofing and a little plumbing on the side as well!  Well, we had a good laugh over that.

We'll hear back on the type of tumor in the next week or so.  Caelan's recovery should be steady once we arrive home.  There is still a chance that the tumor could be benign, but, once again, the doctors think it is cancerous.  Please pray for a conclusive result from the testing so that we can know exactly how to proceed.  Folks who have been through this say that the surgery is the worst part, so we are glad to have that behind us.

I had a beautiful post written. It was eloquent, heart wrenching, and sublime - it was the greatest piece of literature ever written. It perfectly described what we were going through, what tomorrow would bring, and how all would be well.  Then, in the publishing, it got deleted. So, instead of sublime, you get this!

Surgery is tomorrow morning.  We have to be at Children's Hospital at 5:45am.  Yes, that's in the "morning."  We are nervous, but trusting God.  It is so hard to think about what Caelan will go through.  He trusts us completely, and yet we are turning him over to be cut on and go through dangerous surgery that will be very painful for him in the recovery.  As a parent, this is so hard. But, we know that it is for his best, and will in turn, begin the process of saving his life.

I guess that is how God is with us when it comes to some of the suffering that enters our life. While He loves us and wants what is best for us, at times, He allows difficult things into our lives so that our affection for this world is replaced by a hope in Him for the life to come.  He, at times, allows suffering, so that we will find our hope in Him, the Source of Life.  We trust the Lord in this and look to Jesus for healing and strength, and we pray that in all things, He is glorified.  May it be so.  Amen.

I'll give more information later, but I just wanted to write a quick update. We went to UAB again today and met with the surgeon, oncologist, etc. Surgery is scheduled for Friday. They are going to have to remove the tumor now and then send it off for further pathology testing. They still strongly believe that it is cancerous, but there is a small possibility that it is benign and they have to know that before they treat it. Either way, the tumor has to come out.  We were hoping that they would shrink it down before they tried to take it out, but they said that chemo would not shrink it that much anyway because of the small number of possible cancer cells within the tumor.

The good news is that his chemotherapy will not be as intense as we thought to begin with if it is cancer. The bad news is that this is a very extensive surgery (3-4 hours) and they will remove cartilege, muscle tissue, and part of some of his ribs from his chest wall. Ouch. We will be in the hospital until at least Tuesday of next week.  They will put a patch over his chest to allow for growth and recovery.

Please pray for God to remove the tumor before Friday! That might seem silly to some of you, but we believe in miracles and we will pray like that throughout the duration. If God allows the tumor to remain, pray for the surgery to go well and for a quick recovery.

We so appreciate each one of you who have prayed for Caelan and our family. We also appreciate all of the tangible help that we have received the last couple of weeks. You have no idea how much you mean to us. The support from childcare, to help with gas, to snacks for the road trips, to everything in between has been an incredible lifesaver.  As we said before, God is showing us His love through you and we are humbled, yet not surprised.  Our church is amazing and we praise God for you.  Brandi, Cheryl, Mike, Dan - for today we thank you - you are amazing!

We had a rough weekend, but God is so faithful. He met us in a powerful way yesterday in worship, throughout the day, and then last night.  Every 6 weeks or so, our church has a special time of prayer and worship on Sunday nights. We really experienced God's presence and a strong awareness that He is with us, despite the many trials that we face throughout life. As long as we experience His presence, we can handle anything that comes our way. We praise the immovable God!

Welcome to the Rollercoaster.  Well, we had this plan, you see, that we had gotten all prepared for.  We were headed to Children's Hospital at UAB yesterday to begin chemotherapy and get the ball rolling with the recovery of our son, Caelan.  All along we have been waiting for the confirmation pathology results from Emory that told us exactly what kind of cancer Caelan had.  The doctors need that information before treatment, so they know exactly what to do and exactly what kind of treatment to give.  Well, two weeks later, they still do not have it.  The results came back, but they are inconclusive.  So, we have to go on Monday for a consultation with the whole team, and then possibly have MAJOR surgery on Wednesday to remove the whole tumor from Caelan's side.  Here is the official press release from our Chief of Staff, Erika:

We head to Children's Hospital at UAB in Birmingham tomorrow, we believe, to begin chemotherapy.  I say, "we believe," because we are still waiting for the pathology results to come back from Emory to tell us exactly what kind of cancer it is. We were supposed to be there at 0730, but now we are waiting for a phone call.  It will either be Friday afternoon, or worse case, sometime next week.  We are growing anxious and are ready to get on with it.  I'll confess that I am starting to struggle with the enormity of this and the stress is growing.  I am still TOTALLY convinced that Caelan is going to be o.k., but I am beginning to feel a whole lot of different emotions. They come in strange times, my short term memory is next to nothing, I'm not processing information well, I am on edge, and because of weariness, I am finding it harder to "feel" happy (not that you "feel" happy when you hear your child has cancer - maybe I mean that I am finding it harder to "act" happy - sadness is really starting to creep in).  I'm still praising God in the midst of this, we are believing God for great things, and our resolve of faith is not shaken, but the walk that we are beginning is not easy.  Caelan is happy as he can be and he has no idea what is going on.  It will be devastating to see him suffer. I love him so much.

People at the church have been AMAZING!!!  They are supporting us, helping us, and truly showing us who Jesus is.  If you don't know Christ and are not a part of a Jesus focused church, you are missing out on the most amazing thing.  Our folks are so loving, supportive, and kind.  I cannot imagine facing this without them.  From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

12. 45. 75. 3. 1.  Exhausting.  Today we went to Children's Hospital in Birmingham to visit the oncologist and to receive a bunch of numbers and further information about the treatment of our son, Caelan Joshua for cancer.  It was an exhausting and emotional day as the full weight of what we are facing was presented to us.  I'll get right to the point and lay it out for you.  Through it all, God has been good and the prayers of so many people are bearing us up and seeing us through.  Thank  you.

He still has cancer.  We learned that on Thursday and it was verified today in person.  It still stinks.  The name of it is something that I cannot pronounce and don't really want to.  It is very dangerous and life threatening, but they feel that he has an excellent chance to make it and the cancer is curable.  So that is good news!  I asked what "excellent" means and the doctor gave us a 75% chance.  If he responds to the treatment, he'll recover fully.  If not, he won't make it.

Over the past couple of weeks, our family has been going through a pretty tough time. My last couple of posts have alluded to it a bit without really saying what it is.  Almost three weeks ago, my wife found a lump on the chest of my 8 month old son, Caelan.   We took him to the doctor, got referred to a surgeon from Children's Hospital at UAB in Birmingham, went in for ultrasound and Cat Scan, and then had a biopsy done (all of this last week).  We had to wait until today to get the results, but we finally heard from the surgeon.

She called and said that they are fairly certain that the tumor is cancer.  They do not know for sure and they are sending the tissue sample off for other tests and a second opinion, but all indications at this point are that it is cancer.  We will meet with the surgeon and oncologist on Monday in Birmingham to chart out a course of action, discuss our options, and to move toward beginning treatment.  Treatment could consist of any type of combination of medication, chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery.  They'll know more of what to do when they know exactly what it is.

My wife and I are choosing to trust God in this.  We are told to "rejoice in the Lord always" and I guess that now counts as always.  That even means when things are really hard.  I have been trying to live out Philippians 4:4-9 that says,

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me— put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I truly am experiencing God's peace right now, even though our future is uncertain.  We will lift up our little boy to the Lord and pray for healing.  He is a sweet little boy and he loves to play with his brothers and sister. We will not stop praying and we will not stop praising God.  I know that there are difficult times ahead for our son, and we are praying for God's strength to pull Him through.  When people ask what they can do for us, we really do mean it when we say, "Pray believing."  God wants us to trust Him, even when life is hard. He will see us through.  We would appreciate the prayers of anyone who reads this and I will be posting updates here when I get new information.  I praise God for our church, Gateway, and all of their support and prayers.  There are a couple of things we know:  God is not surprised by this, and this is just another chance for God to prove Himself strong.  More later . . .